I am having a hard time with guilt this week. I don't know why, perhaps because of a sermon I just listened to on hell. I think fear I could end up there. I know if I am a believer, I trust the Lord as my one and only Savior, and I am forgiven. But for some reason I can't seem to forgive myself. I went through some really tough times in the past year. I did and thought some things that I feel God shouldn't forgive me for. I don't know when it is ok to let myself be forgiven. Jeremy told me one time that in God's eyes one sin is the same as any another. There is no escalating scale in proportion to how "bad" the sin. Why can't I let it go? I know I am loved and I know my sins were certainly not the most horrible things imaginable, but for some reason because it is the lowest I have been in a very long time, I feel I'm not worthy of His forgiveness.
Hopefully time will heal my pain and I will allow myself to be forgiven.
"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, andthe blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." -1 John 1:1-9
Prayers for calming my heart and my mind on this topic would be much appreciated...
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time heals no pain. it's what you do in that time. i love you so much, and rejoice everyday that God has paid for our sin. we don't have to work for forgiveness, we just have to accept it.
ReplyDeleteHe is totally right Kate. We don't have to work for His forgiveness, it is freely offered for those who are not too stubborn to take it. I used to repeat my apology to God over and over and over because I wasn't sure if He really forgave me or not. Then, one of our small group people asked if I thought God was deaf-- He always hears us and always will forgive us. That seemed to help because every time I go to repeatedly ask for forgiveness again, I laugh and remind myself that God isn't deaf. LOL
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